


Jugged Jabberwocky

by Thimblerig



Category: Alice In Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Recipes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-22
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2019-01-21 03:32:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12448791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thimblerig/pseuds/Thimblerig
Summary: First snatch your jabberwocky...





	Jugged Jabberwocky

**Author's Note:**

> One of my cats decided the Best Place Ever to sleep was the second-from-top shelf of a wall unit, which I first realised when my old metronome went flying**. In the clean-up I found a rather old piece of silliness which I am posting here now, lightly edited, For Posterity.
> 
> * I'm not sure if a jabberwocky counts as a person, but just in case I'm tagging for Character Death.
> 
> ** Cats keep no time but Their Own.

First snatch your jabberwocky.

Ingredients:  
   one (1) vorpal sword  
   one (1) tulgy wood  
   one (1) valiant fool

Mix well and leave to stand by a tum-tum tree for several hours.

Once you have snatched the jabberwock (and it has not snatched you), care must be taken in dressing out. Any trace of liver is instantly fatal. The tail, while savoury, will render the eater blind, so do not consume unless you are unlucky in your marriage partner. 

Carefully remove the flaming eyes and place in paraffin. They will make an excellent garnish.

Wedge the head firmly between your knobbly knees, gimble the base, and then pith it. Brimmer contents slowly in a cauldron, adding wine, shallots, garlic, and other spices to taste. This will take several days. When the red slithy bits have turned purple it is just done. (ON NO ACCOUNT COOK UNTIL BLUE!!)

Gently pour the stew back into the jabberwocky's head. If you put a temporary wax seal on the stump then you may place it upright for display. Replace the flaming eyes, garnish with parsley, and serve on a silver platter.

 

_Traditionally, Jugged Jabberwocky is eaten at four in the afternoon, in the vicinity of a sundial. It has become popular in these degenerate times to terrify dinner guests by mounting the dish on a life-size jabberwocky marionette (or jabbette) but we trust our esteemed readers shall not descend to such tawdry farce._

_Bon Appetit!_  


End file.
